A Matchmaking Mismatch by Martha Keyes

Author:Martha Keyes [Keyes, Martha]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Paradigm Press

Chapter Twenty-Three

There was something fantastically bittersweet about the evening Ruth passed with Lord Oxley in his drawing room. It felt like a bit of stolen time—an evening painful in its perfection. And as Ruth searched her feelings, she found that, more than the prospect of death or injury, she was haunted by her dishonesty. More than once, she nearly confessed everything. What was it about Oxley that pleaded with her to reveal all—that wished so desperately to know he respected her when he knew the full truth?

But his belief in her courage was also what bound her tongue. If this was to be her last night on God’s green earth, she couldn’t bear for it to be full of Oxley’s disappointment or disdain. God forgive her if that was cowardly.

“You will present yourself here tomorrow afternoon for the next lesson, Ruth. I demand it. Physical touch, is it not?”

Ruth managed a smile and nodded. Perhaps it was better that she die. A lesson instructing Oxley on such a topic would be a special form of torture.

“Get some sleep, panda,” Oxley said, mussing Ruth’s hair. “My carriage will be waiting outside your lodgings at five.”

Ruth doubted she would shut her eyes all night, but she bid him as cheerful a goodbye as she could muster then made her way through Grosvenor Square and on toward Upper Brook Street.

Topher wasn’t home—he had spent the past two nights with Rowney, returning when Ruth was already fast asleep, as Lucy had informed her. He was hurting, and she worried for him. But she knew her twin well enough to know that only time would bring him out of such a mood.

Lucy assisted Ruth out of her clothing, falling into a companionable silence once Ruth’s short, quiet responses made it clear that she was not in the mood for chatter. When Lucy left, Ruth stood in her shift and bare feet for a few minutes, eyes glazed over. There was only one lit candle in the room, but it reflected in the standing mirror beside the bed.

Ruth had been avoiding the mirror nights and mornings—the only time she wore female garments. But tonight, she glanced at her reflection and stepped toward it, forcing herself to take in the odd picture she presented.

She put a hand to her head and choked back a sudden, unexpected sob. She missed her hair—a bygone connection to her femininity. For two weeks, she had forced herself to act the part of a man, and she had done so well that she could hardly remember what it felt like to be a woman. Tomorrow, she might well die a man. And if she did, the truth would be revealed.

At least she wouldn’t be alive to witness Oxley’s disappointment in her.

She turned away and reached under her bed, pulling the portmanteau toward her and opening the clasps and the lid. Her dresses were neatly folded within, and she pulled one out.

She might well die the death of a man in the morning, but tonight, she wanted to be herself again.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.